Good morning!
His Compassions never fail.
They are new every morning,
great is Your faithfulness.;
Lamentations 3:22,23
This morning I am feeling pretty good. Yesterday I was way tired, but today God has blessed me with strength. I still don't understand why we do the things we don't want to do, things that harm us. Like me I am diabetic and I still can't seem to understand that if I eat the wrong things I am going to feel bad and end up hurting myself way bad.
I ask God to change me and everyday my selfish self jumps back into the drivers seat. SCREAM! Just for today, just TODAY I want to make right choices and eat the right things.
I wish that was my only downfall. I find that I have the "need" to tear people down to make me feel good about me. Now why in the world do I need to do that when Jesus has saved me? He took on a HORRIBLE death to save me. I want to be the woman He created me to be, but that self gets in the way(again). Telling me I am not good enough, I am stupid, that I can't do anything right. So to make me feel like I better person, I make sure I see the bad in other people.
Oh my I sound like a sick deranged person. I do see good in people, but sometimes I am jealous of that good. Sometimes I wish God had made me more like a skinny person, a rich person, a woman with a husband and kids. But who am I to say what God has choosen me for? Maybe being single I can lean on Him to be my husband, to care for and guide me. Maybe being fat I can have a heart for the underdog. I do have children that I love so much I really don't see how I could love them any more if they had come out of me. Jake and Eli are the first ones that come to mind, but also my Amy, who as a little girl stole a part of my heart and now as a grown woman has never given it back.
My best friend in high school had 3 girls. I was there when she got married and the birth of the girls (two came at one time!!). Now I have seen all the girls marry and the oldest is now pregnant.
So I have still shared in the life of some kido's growing up. My cousin has a daughter that has been the one with all the trouble. She is the one I love in spite of herself at times. She is now pregnant at 17 and the Daddy doesn't even know, yet. One baby on the way is a time of rejoicing for me ( I am gonna be a Grammy!) The other baby on the way is a time of fear and sorrow. I will love this baby just because of whose it is, but I am so fearful for this child. I pray God will work a miracle and this child will be born healthy and grow up in the center of His will.
Well this is enough rambling for now.
In Christ Alone
Wanda
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Thoughts for today
my thoughts seem to be bouncing all over the place this morning. the dog is standing at the door barking, it is 5:00 am, no wonder I can't think.
I have started getting up at 4:00 to have my time alone with God, and to be honest, it has been wonderful, even though it is so early. it is quite and peaceful in the world and all is so very still. out of the quite stillness, Caren (the dog) barks her "get on my last never" bark, and breaks my peacefull time with just me and God. I wonder if God feels that way about me some mornings when all I can do is whine about every little thing in my life, rather than give thanks. thanks that i have a home, i have a job, i have a car that is in good shape, i have wonderful friends, i have jake and eli, shelby and samantha, i have semi good health, i have an incrediable church.
Father forgive me for whining, and thank You for allll the amzaing gifts you give me everyday, every moment.
jake became 13 yesterday. wow! i remember not being able to sleep the night connie went to the hospital to give birth. we waited all night and into the next day. finally at about 3:00 pm he decided it was time to make his grand entrance into the world. that afternoon i went to see him, i was standing outside the baby room with his granddad and we could hear him screaming. the nurses were measuring him and finger printing him and foot printing him. he did NOT like it at all. but he still took my breath away. that beautiful, head full of hair baby in he stole my heart and has yet to give it back.
i am so very proud of him, he does good in school and has such a sweet tender heart, it almost breaks mine sometimes. he is on the golf team 1 of 2 7th graders who made it. i pray this will be developed into a talent that will take him though college. GO VANDY! oh my he would just HATE that, he is such a TENNESSEE fan. i have just had to learn to deal with the vols, to be honest, i actually pull for them sometimes.
happy birthday jake, i pray you will grow into the man God has created you to be. i love you!
I have started getting up at 4:00 to have my time alone with God, and to be honest, it has been wonderful, even though it is so early. it is quite and peaceful in the world and all is so very still. out of the quite stillness, Caren (the dog) barks her "get on my last never" bark, and breaks my peacefull time with just me and God. I wonder if God feels that way about me some mornings when all I can do is whine about every little thing in my life, rather than give thanks. thanks that i have a home, i have a job, i have a car that is in good shape, i have wonderful friends, i have jake and eli, shelby and samantha, i have semi good health, i have an incrediable church.
Father forgive me for whining, and thank You for allll the amzaing gifts you give me everyday, every moment.
jake became 13 yesterday. wow! i remember not being able to sleep the night connie went to the hospital to give birth. we waited all night and into the next day. finally at about 3:00 pm he decided it was time to make his grand entrance into the world. that afternoon i went to see him, i was standing outside the baby room with his granddad and we could hear him screaming. the nurses were measuring him and finger printing him and foot printing him. he did NOT like it at all. but he still took my breath away. that beautiful, head full of hair baby in he stole my heart and has yet to give it back.
i am so very proud of him, he does good in school and has such a sweet tender heart, it almost breaks mine sometimes. he is on the golf team 1 of 2 7th graders who made it. i pray this will be developed into a talent that will take him though college. GO VANDY! oh my he would just HATE that, he is such a TENNESSEE fan. i have just had to learn to deal with the vols, to be honest, i actually pull for them sometimes.
happy birthday jake, i pray you will grow into the man God has created you to be. i love you!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Short
Today is the day before I go on vacation. Sounds like I am going to some far away from home place, huh? Well maybe I am, let's see, swimming, wild anaimals, lots of trees and grass, nope, it is home. Next week I will be spending the week at home with my cousin's daughter. We will swim go to the movies, out to eat, cook and maybe even do a little cleaning at my house, nah, no cleaning. I am mostly looking forward to have the week AWAY from work.
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